Fordy’s Oscars – Live Action Short Film

The Academy Award for Live Action Short Film goes to:

the teenager who cannot be named for legal reasons and who is not labelled a bully but merely exhibits bullying behaviour. Forward-thinking enough to record live on his mobile his own happy-slapping victims begging for mercy, he also furnished YouTube viewers, with a copy of his misunderstood antics that doubled as evidence for the prosecution.

Fordy’s Oscars – Academy Juvenile Award

The Academy Juvenile Award goes to:

Billy Trickitt aka ASBO-Trickster who went down in the school’s folklore by punching Mr Greasley, the headteacher, in an argument over whether it was acceptable to set a teacher’s hair alight. The head’s false teeth were dislodged in the process and deposited into his cup of coffee. The Trickster later claimed that Greasley had thrown coffee and bitten him.

Fordy’s Oscars – Best Animated Feature

The Academy Award for Best Animated Feature goes to Mr Ford for his portrayal of a dying swan after being headbutted in the privates by a rogue year-one pupil who failed to take heed of his command to:

Stop the game now! British Bulldog is way too dangeraaaaah!

Fordy’s Oscars – Directing

The Academy Award for Directing goes to:

the school secretary who spent her days bossing everyone around and generally being obstructive to any sensible idea, particularly if it related directly to pupils experiencing a modicum of fun.

Fordy’s Oscars – Best Actor

The Academy Award for Best Actor goes to:

Peter Ford for his portrayal of Mr. Ford the enthusiastic and professional educator, whose pupils thought that school was his whole life and that he spent his weekends in a holiday cupboard in the south of his classroom.

Oscars 4 All

I’ve used the Academy Awards or Oscars a number of times over the years as a stimulus for writing, discussion or research. Students are motivated by the subject and are generally able to see through the materialism and recognise the place of such awards in the whole scheme of things.

A class could easily host their own awards, making up worthwhile categories, displaying the nominations on a blog or wiki and evaluating and using some online voting software to collect the opinions of the community. Design and create your own virtual oscar-like trophies and certificates to be awarded virtually or at a student-prepared event.
Once the nominations are in then the local press can be contacted as can the agents of any nominated celebrities/authors etc. This makes for a purposeful bit of research – best done in advance by the pupils. I reckon many in the public eye would be delighted to be nominated and would respond – probably not in person but you never know!

Like the UK Honours System that recognises any merit and service to the nation, your awards don’t have to be limited to the famous. Local community research would throw up a number of worthwhile nominees that could be honoured.

When the results are in a press-release should be prepared and sent to local newspapers and radio. Certificates should be sent to the winners with an invite to visit your school. Get the pupils to write speeches, to perform, to make food, to change the staffroom into a VIP Green Room!